Didn't, Didn't, Didn't
by nicole-elocin
Summary: Chuck Bass didn't do a lot of things. Drabble one-shot.


Chuck Bass didn't date. Saying that he wanted to be someone's boyfriend was like saying that Jessica Simpson was a good actress- there was just no way in hell that it was true. Even when he was a young child, never did he have the urge to have a girlfriend like the other boys did. No, it wasn't that he thought they had cooties, either. It was quite the opposite. His logic was 'Why kiss one girl when I can kiss five?'. This carried on for many years of his life, until it wasn't even a hesitation anymore, it was normal for him to be a player.

Chuck Bass didn't feel guilty. He did what he wanted, and never did he think of how his actions could affect other people. He didn't regret his decisions, because he believed that he was always right. That was one thing that his father had taught him; if you're confident, you can pull off anything. And so he did. He could pull off being a man whore, using the sleaziest lines, putting the moves on young gold diggers, wearing some ridiculous clothing but still looking good, and lighting up a smoke whenever he got a craving. Cravings were what fueled his life. Without them, he'd just end up sitting on his couch all the time, staring at the expensive looking wall paper that covered his hotel suite.

Chuck Bass didn't let people tell him what to do. He was his own man; he made his own decisions. It made him uncomfortable when he _wasn't_ in control. He was a master at manipulating people, or ruining them in the off chance that they were so God damned stubborn or stupid that they didn't realize how awful he could make their lives. Most people crossed this bridge before, falling to the bottom of the social ladder and being forced to climb their way back up. The only people that he hadn't ruined was Nate and Blair- but now he even managed to ruin them, not entirely on purpose.

But if Chuck Bass didn't date, didn't feel guilty, and didn't let people tell him what to do, what was wrong with him now? There were feelings swirling around in his brain that he couldn't understand and didn't know how to get rid of. It was all _her_ fault.

It was Blair who made him feel like this. He didn't want to be her boyfriend, but he still couldn't allow himself to stay away. Of course, _she_ wouldn't settle for just fun either. No, not anymore. The first couple of times she did, but now that she was broken down, he didn't doubt that she just needed a new boyfriend that would support her as she shoved people out of the way to get back on the top of the food chain again. _She_ wouldn't settle for a secret affair.

This guilt thing? He's heard of it before, just never had an experience in the area himself. Now, he had the urge to apologize, something that he'd only done a couple of times before. Most of those times were when he was younger and he knew that if he didn't apologize, his father would take away privileges for weeks at a time. This was so much more different than that, though. He didn't want Nate to be mad at him anymore, not over _her_. _She_ wasn't worth it. They had been friends for so long, and it wasn't fair to just throw it all away because of something stupid bitch.

Except that stupid bitch was one of the best things in Chuck's life. Maybe he didn't normally let people tell him what to do, but it was different with _her_. He'd get down on his knees and kiss the side walk in Brooklyn for her, just because he'd be able to see the pure enjoyment she got out of it. Every time she smiled or laughed, it was contagious. He couldn't stop himself from doing the same, and even while he was kissing the dirty cement, he was sure he'd be laughing his guts out.

She was killing him. Everything he thought he used to know about himself was changing.  
And Chuck Bass didn't feel like Chuck Bass anymore. He felt like one of those idiots that he used to laugh at for being so head-over-heels in love.

Chuck Bass didn't fall in love.

But he did drink away his problems, which he was doing now, secretly wishing he could drown in the glass of scotch instead of having to remind himself of the things he didn't do.


End file.
